M reaches into a drawer beside my bed. I thought I had locked that drawer. She pulls it out and waves it around in the air squealing “Shiny!” Unfortunately, the in-laws are over. The whole room is suddenly silent. I rush over and take it from her, sure that my face is redder than the …
“I have triumphed over the Kingdom of M at the battle of Onesie,” my Facebook status reads. “It was a long and arduous battle. There were many casualties on each side, but we have prevailed! M has now retreated to the castle keep at Crib and is undoubtedly planning the strategy for the next battle.” …
For better or worse, M loves watching TV. Every Sunday, we sit on the bed and watch Saturday Night Live. It’s her favorite show and I can always count on her bouncing (on my stomach!) and dancing to the musical guests, sometimes grabbing my nose for balance. Her father and I joke that exposing her …
My family does not eat red meat during Lent. Most Christians believe we have to make some sort of sacrifice just like what Jesus Christ did on the cross. Some even fast to atone for their sins. Where I’m from in the Philippines there are even some people who participate in the reenactment of Christ’s …
I’m watching my daughter sleep. The ends of her mouth curve upwards and gently back again, as if being controlled by a lazy puppeteer. Her dream, this time, appears to be a good one. She is also sprawled out between her father and me, using his chest as a pillow and kicking me repeatedly in …
A friend of mine posted a photo of her breastfeeding. I was mesmerized by the color of her baby’s eyes, the gentle nature of this perfect moment and how great it is to see someone I know in her element. However, the number of comments caught my attention as unusually high. Intrigued, I read the …
I met a woman in the prenatal ward where my cousin gave birth. She kept telling me stories about how her teen creeps her out for being so good. Evidently, her daughter was being too virtuous, would cook meals for the family while she worked, then spend Friday nights with a nice book and a …
Riding toys provide a toddler’s first experience with mobility. For most children it will lead to near obsession with big wheels, wagons, tricycles and eventually bicycles. (We wouldn’t be the first to suggest that motorcycles may also be in their cards eventually.) Typically we recommend letting kids discover their own way off toys like the …
Our two bengals, Snowe and Polar, are sleeping on opposite sides of the room. Snowe wakes up, stretches and walks across, surprising Polar in the process. Polar bristles her fur and hisses at Snowe. M, upset that her friends are fighting, crawls between them, arches her back and hisses back to Polar. Of course, my …
Our 10-month old son has joined the debate over whether news on tablets is better than printed news. I prefer he eat the printed news, but he seems to appreciate the benefits of both. To explain what I’m dealing with I first need to cover our daily routine. My mornings begin with a cup of …
Five minutes ago, this post read as follows: “dasdaba $%+1 p00p.” I’m still not entirely sure what that means, but I assume M does, since she decided to type it while I was away from my computer grabbing her a new diaper. At 12 months old she is fascinated with technology. I’ve tried giving her …
M is obsessed with the magical room on the other side of the door (which we call the bathroom). She is standing on her tippy-toes, supporting her weight by pressing her knees against the door, her back arched and arms stretched as far as possible, trying to reach the knob. She is still an inch …
My mother warned me not to cut our newborn’s nails – we’re supposed to bite them with our teeth. Evidently, everyone in Ironton, Ohio knows babies grow up to be thieves if you do. But Google found the opposite to be true across the river in Kentucky, where common convictions hold that a baby’s finger …
My one year old daughter, M, toddles toward a litter of kittens, who are fresh from a party in the litter-box and shakes her little butt as if to pounce. “No!” my mother exclaims and reaches down to grab M. “Let her play with them,” I say and grab her hand. “What if she gets …
“Look a shooting star! Make a hose … no it’s a snake!” Increasingly, the Play-Doh Fun Factory has become suburban slang for more than just the Station Wagon Generation. It’s gross, it’s unseemly, it’s an image we can’t get out of our heads. UrbanDictionary.com has even defined Play-Doh poop, corroborated by a number of Youtube videos …
Yes! You’ve already been giving your children alcohol in the fruits they eat – you just didn’t know it. A trace amount of alcohol can help sooth sore gums for teething infants, so don’t be fooled into buying an over-the-counter product that merely replaces Jim Beam with their own hooch. Anbesol has 70% alcohol, which …
In response to recent reports of parents spending thousands on kiddie couture, the bumpkins of summer are shedding their clothes in protest. It’s one thing to gussy up the kids for the sabbath, teaching them the times and places for sitting up straight and minding Ps and Qs. But summer’s nearly here and kids everywhere …
Children recognize the difference between good and bad before they discern between new and old. Quite often the favorite toy in the room is not new at all, but the one that provides amusement in a way those others cannot. Siblings, especially, know the good toy by the demand it creates and the status that …
The newspaper headline read that a child was arrested in mid-air for ill behavior. The undercover TSA agent had watched the carnival of romp unfold, the bumpkin’s initial tapping turned to banging on the seat front, then a thrown can of Coke and finally a sudden and aggressive lunge at the friendly man across the …
For the station wagon generation, it’s with sympathy that we straightjacket children in armored pods. We ply them with iPads to makeup for this forced imprisonment, and we stop at McDonalds playgrounds every two hours. Gone are the days of wood paneled station wagons with a mattress thrown in the rear for kids to romp …
