Is your child attempting to negotiate by screaming and crying? Don’t pay a bounty for quiet when you can silence a screaming toddler with love. Reasoned love demands a whole bunch of patience, so forget the unicorns and rainbows and bite the bullet while closing the door on your way out of the room after clearly identifying the toddler’s problem, and then affirming what the problem and solution will be for the child.
How do I silence a screaming toddler with love?
Avoid transactions. Transaction parenting concentrates on a single objective, an objective based on short-lived material, physical or emotional gratification. A transactional relationship is one where both parents and children are in it for themselves, and where the family does things for one another with reciprocity in mind. By insisting on a transaction, a screaming toddler knows no love.
Always telling a screaming toddler she’ll get something in exchange for good behavior will create trade-based behavior. Raising a child means moving away from newborn transaction-based relationships and moving into a reasoned relationship nurtured by transformation.
1. Determine if the toddler has the capacity to reason
Children who are hurt, sick or scared are incapable of expressing themselves and will not respond to reasoned love. It is unfair to expect a child to stop crying when something serious has happened. But if the screaming toddler “knows better” and has the capacity for understanding, then the parent must implement a practice of mutual acceptance and silence a screaming toddler with love.
2. Ask what a screaming toddler really wants
Successful parenting means building a relationship with children based on mutual interests, friendly exchanges and joint conflict resolution. We talk about how to silence a screaming toddler with love in the context of understanding the child’s needs first, then dealing with those needs in a purposeful way. Successful parenting means successfully evaluating how the child feels versus what the child really needs. We silence a screaming toddler with love by communicating effectively.
3. Validate a screaming toddler’s demands
Parents need to validate the child by softly repeating what the screaming toddler is demanding. Three times works best because this number affirms the toddler’s demands without getting into an argument. A child is often screaming because he or she cannot communicate effectively. By validating them and repeating what is said there will be a forceful and conciliatory transition from conflict to agreement. BabyCenter.com explains the Three-Time Rule in detail and the rule is a good one.
4. Stop with the overprotective parenting
The helicopter parent must stop! Parents must be prepared to cry it out, or at least find a way of emotionally isolating a child when that child refuses reasoned love. Silence a screaming toddler with love by walking away from the tantrum after clearly communicating with him or her the need to be rational, returning only when the toddler stops making irrational demands and is willing to reason.
5. Be consistent
Sometimes a transaction is sufficient to get the job done, but transacting is never a good long term strategy for building long-lasting relationships. We like to raise children who are respectful and do not determine their needs based on irrational demands – or the irrational demands of others. Being a good parent means being consistent with the strategies being implemented. Silence a screaming toddler with love reasonably and consistently.
Admitting the dilemma inherent in facing down your children, challenging your children and bringing up your children is crucial to understanding how to silence a screaming toddler with love.
Finally, there’s a certain callousness perceived by outsiders when we implement these fives steps to silence a screaming toddler with love. Veteran parents have stories to tell and wrinkles to show for their experience, so talk with these friends and family. This is the key to keeping a disciplined love policy in place.