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The 4 safety positions for third trimester sex

It’s amazing how many times women turn down sex when they’re pregnant. Of course it’s a valid concern they may hurt the little one, or that pregnant women on bed rest might be over-taxed. But for the majority of women who are pregnant – even within their third trimesters – sex while pregnant can be good for the baby and mommy.

Gynecologists are in agreement that sex during pregnancy – even up until the very end – is safe and normal. The New Health Guide even talks about the joys of getting around that big baby bump: “You can get creative and try positions which put lesser pressure on your bigger bump.”

There are even ways to enhance sex between husband and wife, by taking the opportunity to step outside comfort zones to try new and interesting positions.

Four Safe Sex Positions for Third Trimester Sex

  1. Daddy Sporking – What starts off as spooning and cuddling will often result in the husband promoting his agenda by jabbing his partner in the back. The sexual spork is a form of rear-entry position where one partner lies on one side with knees bent while the man typically enters the partner from behind.
  2. Mommy Doggy Style – Because that baby bump can get too difficult for the woman to lay on her belly, this crouching position – on all fours – is another form of rear-entry positioning that allows for greater control by both partners. In ancient Rome, this practice was known as coitus more ferarum.
  3. Momma on the Mountain - Because pregnant sex can sometimes be painful given the obvious physical changes going on in the woman’s body, a woman finds control by climbing on top of her partner and leaning back or forward (holding his angles or knees if necessary) so that she manages the agenda.
  4. The Sideways Samba Momma – This position is different from spooning in that the woman turns away from her partner with her legs straight out in front at a ninety-degree angle, making an L-shape with her torso. This position is the riskiest of the four because the man maintains most of the control when entering his partner. Cosmo has a good take on it.

Why Pregnant Sex is Good

It is important to remember that while you are pregnant your senses are heightened. In many cases women have a higher sexual desires than before they were pregnant. The orgasms reached while pregnant are higher based on some physiological reasons. Hormones are a lot higher when a woman is pregnant, this increased blood flow as well as increased sensitivity of the genital areas is something to be celebrated and indulged.

One of the greatest things about be pregnant is that you are able to do a lot more. One of the fun things that we are able to enjoy is food and sexual pleasure. Sex was fun before I was pregnant, however after I got pregnant it became far more enjoyable and fun.

Get Your Bump OffAvoids Preterm Labor & Complications – Preterm labor is something that concerns all women. Even though contractions do happen during some women’s orgasms, it is not true that an orgasm can bring on early labor. In fact, there is anecdotal evidence (from my friends) that sex helps optimize the beginning of labor. For instance, when I was in the last weeks of my last pregnancy, I benefited from sexual intercourse by keeping my body optimized and active down there. And once my labor set in, the contractions were increased from sex while circulation of blood and hormones such as serotonin were encouraged.

Sperm is good for women – Sex can help to reduce the risks of complications through pregnancy because of the medicinal qualities sperm is known to have on women, both orally and vaginally. These protective properties offered by sperm also help women to avoid complications that could be life-threatening. For example, pre-eclampsia has been reduced through sex and oral sex.

Reduce Stress – Pregnancy gave me many new aches and pains that I didn’t have before. I thought I was never going to get rid of the backaches or headaches. In my case I tried many traditional and nontraditional medicinal options. However, it wasn’t until it was suggested that I increase sexual intercourse to reduce the stress on my body.

There have been studies suggesting that having stimulation in the genital region can help to increase an individual’s ability to handle pain. After all, sexual arousal is designed to bring pleasure, and that resulted in reducing my pain. The endorphins released during foreplay and after orgasm are similar to those that a runner experiences during a run.

Partner Bonding – One of the important things about pregnancy is to enjoy the time you’re pregnant. One way that you can enjoy pregnancy is through feeling like nothing has changed within your life. Don’t let a lack of sex with your husband create those distant and cold nights and days we all fear. Sex can make the couple feel a bit happier, as well as more stable.

While most women will not have problems from sexing it up during their pregnancy, there are specific issues that may prevent a woman from sexual activity, including if the placenta covers part of the cervix (called “previa”), if the woman experiences vaginal bleeding, or after the water has broken (get thee to the hospital!). Obviously, women should feel empowered to say no to sex if they don’t feel it’s right for them. But women should feel free to indulge their sensual side throughout pregnancy.

The junk food compromise

I went on a change-your-diet-change-your-life kick, limiting all the snack, sweet, fast food, or junk foods from my family’s diet. It was easier for me than you’d think because I was the only one buying groceries. I just didn’t buy it anymore.

Just because something isn’t available doesn’t mean people won’t miss it. I thought everyone would just decide that my way was the best way – then fall in line and eat their fruit without considering the chocolate that still sat on the grocery store shelves.

Boy, was I wrong.

The Junk Food CompromiseMy children are traditional junk foods kids. They use bad foods as their drug. There, I admit it. They have an addiction, so while a physical change in food availability may be real, my children’s emotional change was a different story. I wanted to cut out the junk food for a long time, and I figured cold-turkey was the way to go. We’d become healthier and live happily ever after. A forced change.

But something went horribly wrong early on. Kids are resilient. They’re as wily as those prisoners in old prison movies where cigarettes and nudie magazines are smuggled in from god-knows-where. Due to the intensity of that first week after I banished junk food, my kids cracked and started getting their supply from somewhere else. The difference was that they now felt the need to hide their sweets from me. Smuggling junk food behind my back.

Having them hide things from me made me feel like a horrible mom. My children, until this point, had been communicating with their troubles and joys, freely expressing their passions and longings. I know they kept secrets from me in the past, but never physically hiding things – not to mention hiding upset feelings.

By the second week of smuggling and hiding foods, I realized there would need to be another approach. Parenting 101 for me, I guess, but I finally got to the point where I understood kids have to be educated on the lifestyle change I wanted for them. Force won’t work. By week two I sat them down and went over the following checklist, adapted from author Charity Curley Mathews:

  • Everyone over the age of 2 eats the same meal
  • Mix the vegetables in things to get them to eat vegetables
  • Small portions of the unhealthy stuff, and everyone eats the same amount
  • Less packaged and fast-food
  • Two snacks during the day (no more)
  • We drink water or milk (I added juice on special occasions)

This means that we all had to eat together and choose good foods to eat. Understanding the need for a balance of protein, fruits, vegetables, grains and dairy is where I started.

But guess what? It didn’t work. Well, not all the time anyway. Yes, we failed and we gave in to our kids, giving them junk food occasionally, but now we have a conversation about ideals. It’s important for kids to be educated about the difference.

My decision to reintroduce junk food went wrong at first. But it was the best thing I ever did because they spent the next week eating horrible things. But the conversation finally came back around and I asked everyone to make an effort at the rules.

More and more, the conversations are about eating dinner with the family – their WANTING to eat with the family. They still ate a lot of sweets and junk foods, but they also understood and sought out dinner with healthy foods. I was pleased because little by little they choose to healthy foods. By the next week they weren’t eating any sweets. They were not hiding foods either – at least I hope not!

But the point is that there should be no going “cold turkey” or forcing extreme changes on children without including them in the conversation. By posting shared values and failing at living up to them, we’re finding a realistic compromise the honest compromise. It’s good to have my family working together on their junk food addiction, not hiding it.

Discipline children with respect, not humiliation

With authority over children comes the responsibility to discipline children with respect. Sometimes we all feel a lack of respect for an irrational child with no concept of civility, but parents must remember to respect their children for who they will become, not what they are in the moment. Because many teachers are often the first line of authority for children, sometimes there is a tendency to punish openly and publicly. In a recent classroom situation at a school, a little girl had drawn a picture of a tree house and swing on to her desk. As a result the student was disciplined with a trip to the office, no recess, and she was forced to clean the desk – the teacher also took the student's desk and chair away for the rest of the year. The student completed the school year using a clipboard as a desk and sitting on the floor instead of in a chair. Discipline with respectOf course the girl felt humiliated by the punishment. She was too scared to tell her parents about what the teacher did because she thought her mistake was so horrible she did not deserve the use of a desk any longer. Certainly she remembered the lesson learned, but there was also a great deal of other consequences incurred for the nature of the punishment – including the fact she felt inclined to lie about the punishment as well as never wanting to draw again. Many authority figures discipline with fear, through force, or by punishment. However, this is not discipline by definition.
Discipline is the teaching or training of an individual to accomplish a goal.
The education of self-reliance, self-control and respect for themselves and others is taught to our children through discipline. Finding safe and humane ways of teaching our children is the difference between them offering respect and demanding respect. How to discipline children with respect Every parent should display and promote a rigid list of rules, and the consequences for breaking these rules. Parents should also have known tiers of severity for the consequences – from minor offenses to the most severe. By disclosing these rules and consequences in advance we are creating environments that are not going to sabotage our children with unknown or unexpected situations that result from their careless or overt acts. Then, enforce discipline with clarity, consistency and caring. Read more

Why fathers should not preach natural childbirth

Listen, I tip my hat to women who welcome natural childbirth – in the same way I like to gawk at David Blaine for freezing himself in a block of ice. But if you’re a woman who feels the need to avoid a natural childbirth – don’t feel bad. You’re taking advantage of what medicine has to offer, and it's for your own good. And for those husbands who preach natural childbirth on their expecting wives – you guys are fools. Know-it-all mothers continue to preach natural as the only way to have a successful conclusion to pregnancy. But we should've followed our senses instead of reading books. My wife and I made a decision based on sentiment and emotion, but the reality of it was something different entirely. But we won't make that mistake again. Natural ChildbirthI accept the fact that natural childbirth has its advantages. For example, the mother bonds with her baby by sharing the trauma of entry, and the mother can (in theory) remain alert and active while pushing out the baby, which can lead to a lessened likelihood for intervention. But after my wife recently had a baby using "natural methods" without any sort of pain management other than breathing exercises, I swore I'd warn every expectant father how wrong they are for preaching natural childbirth to their wives. Listen, the woman has her whole life to bond with her fetus, so take advantage of modern medicine and help your wife feel empowered by it. Of course, it's her call to decide ultimately, but remember that women can be empowered by making a decision that includes pain killers. Aren't women bigger than just their babies? Haven't we gotten over that as a society? Why, then, is there this guilt women find themselves feeling when other women preach natural childbirth? We’ve come a long way when it comes to advancements in medicine. Today, women don’t have to go through what our ancestors went through when they gave birth. The scene has been portrayed in movies countless of times: she's cursing his man for getting her pregnant, breaking the nearest arm she can get her hands on, and all the while vowing never to get pregnant again. I can tell you that this is exactly what happened with my wife, and she says she'll never do it again without...
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